Thanks Mom

I have lots of things on my mind to share, so quickly, the house in PA is still on the market, and it's definitely an added "back of the mind" stressor at this moment. Please continue the thoughts and prayers that this will wrap up quickly. Other things can wait, because in honor of Mother's Day, I felt the need to share some thoughts.

I wish I was as patient as my Mom is. I don't remember her parenting style or actions when I was 3 years old, but from seeing her interact with Juliana, I envision extreme patience. I know I pushed her buttons when I was a teenager. Looking back on things I said, did, or thought, I know that I was bonafide crazy. But I don't remember her ever "losing it" with me. Not to say that we both didn't need our respective "time outs" from each other, but it seems as if her patience is infinite. I feel that I lose my patience at the most unpredictable times with Juliana. The predictable times are when there's an agenda in my head or things to do or get done, and my spirited daughter decides to do something different that delays or changes my plans. My introverted, in control self has a hard time being flexible with this. As much as I'd like to think I was the perfect 3 year old, and docile compared to my daughter, I'm sure that's not true. I love the fact that my mom is so aware of developmental milestones, and takes time to remark on observations Juliana is making, where I only hear incessant noise and delay in doing what is required. I wish I had more patience to make these observations. I do have my moments, and for that I am thankful for my mom because I learned it from her, but I wish I could do it all of the time.

I wish I was as tireless as my mom. She started a "game" with Juliana during meal times which Juliana has dubbed "Sneak Up" where it's almost like she's feeding Juliana, but it means that Juliana eats her entire dinner without getting distracted versus only making it through a quarter of the meal on her own. Mom pretends to keep her eyes closed while Juliana eats off the fork/spoon, and then Mom speculates on which Disney character came and ate her food off her fork/spoon before Mom had a chance to eat it. These conversations are elaborate, and yet another example of patience. Juliana asks me to play "Sneak Up", and I'll do it on occasion (usually after I'm done eating or doing whatever I felt I needed to be doing), but I am usual much more tired and exasperated so my commentary is much shorter. Growing up, I don't remember Mom ever being "inconvenienced" by any issue I wanted to talk to her about, or the endless trips to ballet class. Dad and Mom would discuss work over the dinner table, but there was always time for us, and she was tireless in listening and caring. I wish I was more tireless and taking in the moment with Juliana.

I wish I taught more like my mom. In observing Juliana and mom, I feel that every moment is a teaching opportunity. How do you wash dishes, how do you tie a bow on your apron, how do you sweep the porch, how do you put your shoes on, how do you put together a puzzle, etc. This goes back to my moments of patience, and when I have it, I take the time to help teach her, which is definitely learned from my mom. However, when I get it fixed in my head that we have to get out the door, I don't have the patience to wait on Juliana to dress herself. I wish I could slow down, and keep the teaching and encouraging mentality. I especially think of this as I contemplate adding a sibling to our dynamic, and how important it will be for me to be encouraging and a teacher with Juliana as she makes the adjustment.

Our relationship, between mom and me, has continued to evolve and change as I grow personally and professionally. Since I spend so much of my time being introspective concerning Juliana and contemplating her future, I know that our relationship will evolve as well. Most of all, I hope that Juliana grows up knowing that I am, always have been, and always will be her biggest cheerleader. All of my advice and thoughts are well intentioned, and I know she's destined for her own greatness. I also hope she knows that she can be successful professionally and personally. My greatest role model for this is my mom. She may not have always known what the "plan" would be, and she may not have made career choices as a way to demonstrate to her daughters that you can be a woman, be successful, and have a family, but she did demonstrate that, and I'm so appreciative that it is something we can discuss and analyze together.

So, thanks mom. You may not know or have known that your choices and actions would have such an impact on me, but I strive to be like you in patience, love, and caring.

There's another mom that deserves thanks as well... I may not have grown up with Brian's mom, but I am thankful for her too. I imagine her situation when Brian was growing up was extremely challenging. I can't imagine parenting Juliana without Brian, and she had 3 little boys with just as much spirit and energy as Juliana does. She put herself through school, entered the workforce, and raised these boys. Men now with such an incredible work ethic and respect for others. I also see a tireless attitude when she plays with Juliana and helps us out. Isn't it amazing how mothers always "see" what needs to be done and do it, quickly, efficiently, and until the end of the day when everyone else wants to quit or take a break? I didn't know her mom, but I imagine many of these wonderful traits were passed onto her as well, and I hope to be as strong as she is.

So in honor of Mother's Day, I hope my "moms" and all the other moms out there recognize how influential and special you are.