2 going on 20?

Pitt's students are moving in this week. As annoying as I find the increased traffic, sparse parking, and long lunch lines, it makes me reflect back to the times that I participated in college move in. I'm grateful that JMU was in a small town (city?), versus the urban campus of Pitt. The anxiety I get of not knowing if I'm in the right place and trying to get there at the right time, would've been very hard to cope with had I chosen Pitt as an undergrad. I remember the night before freshman move in, Dad and I drove the loaded car over to a faculty only parking lot right next to Hillside dorm, ready for move in the next day. It was awesome to have parents that worked at JMU and had a parking pass. Running around to Wal Mart to get decorating things and miscellaneous items for the room was so much easier since Wal Mart was only 10 mins away, compared to a full 30+ minutes here in Pittsburgh.

I remember being in a "I'm too cool" sort of mentality around my parents, but inside I was terrified and nervous about the new beginning. I cried the first night because I felt alone, without friends, and was homesick already, even though the house was all of 15 minutes away. I'm so grateful that my parents supported whatever decision I made (to stay on campus or visit home frequently), and even offered excellent advice that enabled me to stretch further than I thought possible, and experience so many new things.

Juliana's 2, we have a long way to go until she goes to college. I want to take the time now to reflect a bit, because maybe, in 16 years, I will be more "seasoned" in the goings on and the dangers of an 18 year old girl walking on a campus at night. And I'll be emotional. I want to remember, that now, when I think about it, it's a wonderful experience and I want her to enjoy and spread her wings. I want to also remember that one day she won't hang onto my leg when I'm trying to wash dishes with insistent pleas: "I want to help you! Can I help you?!" That when I drop her off at school, and ask for a kiss, she won't be so quick to oblige, go running off, then turn around and come back saying "HUG!", because in her excitement she forgot.

As much as there are days that I'm exhausted and tired of her not listening to me or following simple instructions, her love, sweetness, and personality are completely overflowing, and contagious. I dislike that sometimes I have to enforce the "rules" because she needs to be reminded that she can't push buttons or get away with things. I hate that I look at small videos from Christmas when she was in bliss, dancing to her cousin playing guitar, I remember that Brian and I were downstairs, probably fighting a little bit trying to get suitcases and toys packed, sheets washed and put back on the beds, and dreading the 7 hour drive home. It feels almost like everyone else gets to enjoy her but us.

But that's not entirely true. I try to take moments of the day to make memories. To take a snapshot or short video in my head of her actions, her phrases, her love. And when I look at her at night, sleeping sideways in her bed, with all 5 blankets thrown off and bundled around her feet because she was too hot, hair soaking wet with sweat and plastered to her head, passy within fingertips reach, I realize that I'm so excited to lead her on her journey and discover what she's passionate about and who she will become. I pray that I will be able to let her "Be" without imposing my passions and interests. I love the bright future ahead of her, and pray that Brian and I will be able to encourage her to keep her big heart, and sweet disposition. But also, to empower her to do anything she wants. With her, the opportunities are endless, and I love that.